Behind the Quill
Who's penning these words?
As romantic as that might be, I unfortunately do not write these essays with a quill and inkstand and parchment and oil-burning lantern. The reality is much more practical, if more banal — I use a keyboard to activate pixels on a monitor. I'm a die-hard digitalist, and I think that significantly informs and influences the kind of writing I do.
But before I unpack that story, I want to point out that this newsletter is going to be a bit different than usual. I want to share some things that are going on in my life. I usually don't use Substack to provide personal updates (though I do include personal anecdotes in the essays); however, there are a few pertinent and important things that I want to share right now.
(Updates are below if you want to skip ahead)
Why am I doing this?
First and most importantly, I care about you. A lot.
In my last essay, I talked about my (nascent) philosophy that everything we do is founded on the motivation to improve the relationships with the people in our lives. For me, those people primarily includes YOU, the people who read my essays. Though I touch a lot of people day to day in a variety of ways, writing is the most important thing in my life, and the most intimate; it is my highest and best self, and so sharing that with you is sharing the essence of myself.
But secondly, I do believe that understanding the person behind the quill, or the keyboard, or the stick in the dirt, has a major impact on the interpretation and appreciation of the words or symbols created. Language is fundamentally something that enables communication, which necessitates both a messenger and an audience.
For example, as I said earlier, I am die-hard digitalist, and I think this strongly influences my work. I read on Kindle, which allows me to instantly look up any unfamiliar word (and its etymology, which for me is especially cool), and export my highlights in one file so I can easily begin annotating them in my note-taking software (Obsidian), which allows me to easily hyperlink to other notes and books and images (think Wikipedia, but for my brain), which allows me to easily draft outlines, and then copy, paste, and publish essays on Substack.
In contrast, my friend Tor Syrvud (who writes Anarchist Therapy), hates screens, so his approach is totally different. He writes entire essays (and books) in his head, then goes out into nature and (literally) pens them down on paper. And then he transcribes those paper notes onto the computer and then onto substack.
These two approaches have a similar end result, but vastly different processes, leading to totally different styles. And that's a good thing.
As a result, because my note-taking is so hyperlinked, I tend to invoke a lot of random (though relevant, I believe) examples and arguments. I think this makes for a more compelling thesis. It allows us to see a proposition from three dimensions (or four or more), much like the parable of the blind men and the elephant. I also think this makes for a much more interesting narrative, with lots of stops along the ride.
For example, I linked to a thread in my last essay where I referenced:
Cinema (Being John Malkovitch, The Matrix)
Religion and Philosophy (the question of free will, The Bible, Taoism)
History/Physics (Einstein's beliefs)
Video game culture (RNGesus)
Art and self-help (Julia Cameron)
Psychology / Neurology / Psychoanalysis / Jungian Psych / Behavioral Psych
I didn't intend to go to all those places. It just happened. I had a lot of fun writing it, and learned a lot myself.
I hope you find this approach interesting. If so, then hopefully you keep reading, or know someone who does, and share this with them. If you're still reading by now, I'm assuming you do find this interesting.
So, here are the updates:
I changed careers!
I am now an EMT. This is my first week with my new company It's quite a dramatic change from Accounting. People often ask me about why I've made this decision, or why now, or other related questions so I want to answer that here. I'll leave a Q&A in another post.
I'm migrating from Squarespace to Substack!
I've had my own website (Grant-Shillings.com) hosted on Squarespace for a year now. In that time, I never once published a newsletter. I wrote a ton! But I just always struggled with the idea of bothering people by sending one more email to clog up their inbox. That's not a very helpful image if you're trying to spill your guts (and your brain). But Substack makes publishing much easier. If this bothers you, please unsubscribe. If you are still subscribed, I'm going to imagine that you enjoy reading these (when you can), and that you are delighted to see them in your inbox. That image is much more helpful for me.
This might be a more fully-fleshed out essay topic at some point, but I've for a long time struggled with the dichotomy I call "oeuvre vs. ephemera." The idea is that back in the day, you could only publish through books (maybe magazines/newspapers), but all of those required significant publishing power and therefore significant editing. But nowadays, people publish all the time with no barriers to entry. The result is a sea of information that is constantly turning over, so only the newest stuff is visible and the old stuff sinks. I've fought against this for a while by trying to make immaculate "works of art" that will stand the test of time, but it's just not realistic. One, I'm not that good of a writer yet. And two, it really makes it hard to publish. So I'm taking the advice of Taylor Foreman and just throwing my work out there. Mind you, it's still going to be well-thought-out and edited and (hopefully) grammar-checked. But I'm focusing currently on improving the writer rather than the writing.
Other Miscellanea. In case I haven't told you already. Here are some other cool things in my life:
I moved to Boulder, CO in August, and I've been here now 8 months, which is a new record for longevity / rootedness. I plan on staying in the Boulder/Denver area, so hopefully I will put the troubadour shoes away for a minute.
I'm still doing a lot of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I finally got my third stripe on my white belt (though I've been training for about 2 years cumulatively since 2018). Because of this glorious sandbagging (and hopefully a bit of talent/effort), I won an in-house tournament in February. I got 1st place in Nogi out of 12, and 2nd place in Gi out of the same 12. (18-29 age bracket, 135-145lbs, Male, white-belt).
I'm learning Salsa Dancing! I've gone every week since January, and am now dancing with the top-level dancers in my program. I really love it! I practice for 5 minutes every day by myself, which I think is what has helped me get so good so fast. It's a great way to meet people and get in touch with your body; highly recommend!
I finally decorated my room. I'll add pics to this post later. But I think the reason for this event is related to event 3a — now that I'm staying put for a minute, I can afford to invest in my home!
If you know someone who might like this publication, please share it!