I definitely felt that social-anxiety-death feel last week with "my tribe" last week. ;- )
One year in my teens I decided to attempt a hike with two class mates just as summer break started. We literally walked out the doors of my school with bags full of food. It would be a hike to my home town, 100 kilometers. We got out of town and found a hiking trail close to the highway. They turned around pretty quick. But I was determined to pull it off anyway because I had been thinking about it all year.
The cellphone reception was dodgy, I wasn't sure where I was on the map, or if I even had a map. It started thundering, I was walking a huge maze of endless gravel paths in the middle of the forest. It was pissing down and the loudest thunder I'd ever heard. I was soaked and crying. Somehow I managed to call my parents, I found an exit from that maze.
Like you described, it was horrifying in the moment, I wouldn't want to end up in that situation again. But I felt alive and I'm glad I did it.
I'm surprised to hear you felt that anxiety with your tribe. Was it just like that in the beginning and it wore off? Or did you feel it the whole time? Or were there certain scenarios where it was stronger than others?
That's a really great story. I'd love to read an expanded version of it. Already it's very compelling.
Glad you made it home in one piece Grant!
I definitely felt that social-anxiety-death feel last week with "my tribe" last week. ;- )
One year in my teens I decided to attempt a hike with two class mates just as summer break started. We literally walked out the doors of my school with bags full of food. It would be a hike to my home town, 100 kilometers. We got out of town and found a hiking trail close to the highway. They turned around pretty quick. But I was determined to pull it off anyway because I had been thinking about it all year.
The cellphone reception was dodgy, I wasn't sure where I was on the map, or if I even had a map. It started thundering, I was walking a huge maze of endless gravel paths in the middle of the forest. It was pissing down and the loudest thunder I'd ever heard. I was soaked and crying. Somehow I managed to call my parents, I found an exit from that maze.
Like you described, it was horrifying in the moment, I wouldn't want to end up in that situation again. But I felt alive and I'm glad I did it.
Keep up the great writing, you're an inspiration.
Thanks Jonas!
I'm surprised to hear you felt that anxiety with your tribe. Was it just like that in the beginning and it wore off? Or did you feel it the whole time? Or were there certain scenarios where it was stronger than others?
That's a really great story. I'd love to read an expanded version of it. Already it's very compelling.
Mostly when I would have to choose to say "hey" to someone, once I've gotten into it it's easier. Plunging in is the hardest.
I feel like I'll probably use that story some day, thanks for reminding me of it!