Sometimes, I feel like writing these essays every week is a complete waste of time. Right now, as I stare at my screen, trying to get myself to begin, writing is the last thing I want to do.
I hate this and I don't want to do this.
And yet…
...there's something about it that keeps me going.
Why do I do this? Why do I write every week?
In times like these, it's helpful to remind myself of my reasons. And, maybe, reading them will also encourage you start (or intensify) your own writing habit.
1. I write to do what I thought was impossible
This essay will be #23 in a row! I never thought I would get this far. For years, I struggled to finish drafts, much less publish them.1 And now I have a momentum that will carry me towards my goal. I am Interminable.2
My goal is to do 52 weeks in a row. By then I will have published over 100,000 words. That's crazy. If you were to combine all those essays into a book, it would be about 400 pages long.
If I can do this with writing, what else can I achieve?
"But man's capacities have never been measured; nor are we to judge of what he can do by any precedents, so little has been tried." —Henry David Thoreau, Walden
2. I write in order to improve my thinking
To paraphrase Sönke Ahrens, "Writing is not what comes after thinking, but the medium in which it takes place."
My ideas make complete sense in my head, but often when I try to communicate them to others, I realize quite quickly that they are not so logical. Nor are they very interesting. Have you ever tried to tell a funny story, only to realize after the punchline that it was not that funny?
But when I write my ideas down, and attempt to structure them into an argument, or a story, I get enough distance from my own thoughts that I can see them clearly, without the distortion of my own constant bias. Writing forces me to think critically about my own ideas, and the ideas of others. I have to figure out what makes sense, what is impactful, what is beautiful, and so on.
The goal of writing, then, is to organize my thoughts so they are cogent—both convincing (logical/persuasive) AND compelling (interesting/beautiful). And I find that as I practice this discipline with writing, when I have the luxury of time to evaluate my ideas, I also get better with speaking, when I don’t.
3. I write in order to make novel connections
As I write this essay, I'm amazed at how many ideas I have already referenced in other essays. That's why I'm always leaving footnotes.3 Each essay contains more and more links to previous essays. And it's only growing.
And this network mirrors the pattern of my internal system of note-taking. My ideas come from a variety of sources: classic literature, science fiction, philosophy, psychology, cinema, video games, personal experiences, random shower thoughts.
Essentially, I'm building a wikipedia for my brain. Here's a quick snaptshot that shows how the ideas within all my notes are connected.
So the really cool thing is that each essay makes dozens of novel connections between all these disparate sources, allowing me to triangulate the truth, to see it in 3D.
"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." —Einstein.
When you cannot fix the problem directly, you have to go around it. Writing helps me discover the appropriate analogies that allow me to get around my problems. Q.V. Range.
4. I write in order to immerse myself in the best sources of information and entertainment.
In order to create great works, I have to consume great works. The old saying is “Garbage in, garbage out,” but the reverse is also true.
Every time I write a new essay, it is an outpouring of the creative reservoir of my heart and mind. But if I want the process to be sustainable, I have to keep refilling the well.
I have to keep reading great books, watching great movies, playing great video games, engaging in great conversations, and having great life experiences. And moreover, I have keep thinking critically about all of them.
But since I spend so much time and energy in creation, I don’t have an abundance of either to spend on consumption. This is actually a beautiful limitation,4 as it forces me to focus on only the highest quality content. I’ll gladly spend $4 to watch a Great movie, rather than save it and spend two of my precious hours watching an Okay movie that I found scrolling through Netflix. Likewise for books. And so on.
To write well, I have to live well, and that is an amazing motivator.
"To write a great book, you must first become the book.” -Navil Ravikant
5. I write because we learn best when we teach
I have spent thousands of hours tutoring students, and I’ve learned that if you don’t completely comprehend the subject you’re teaching, you will eventually fail, and fail hard. I need an entire armory of explanations for each topic in order to meet the specific needs of every student. By the time I’m ready to teach, I’ve certainly mastered the topic.
But essays are slightly different. I've said in my About section that "An essay is not a proclamation of divine truth from the mountaintop, nor is it a definitive lecture from a masterclass. It’s an earnest attempt to wrestle with a difficult topic." Still, that process of attempting to explain something is what helps me understand it the best.
As I approach any of the media or experiences above, I think, "how would I explain this to my readers?" And also, "is this even worth remembering?" Both of those questions help me decide how to direct my attention.
6. I write in order to connect with kindred spirits
For a very long time, I was plagued with a very modern sensation: I was intellectually lonely. Though I love meeting people everywhere I go,5 and often find a number of things to connect on, it’s very difficult to find someone who shares the same level of passion for my specific interests. Perhaps we all feel this, more or less.
However, there is also a very modern solution to this problem, which is woefully neglected: the internet.
I am grateful to Will Mannon for endlessly prodding me to take his writing class, Write of Passage, where I was introduced to two of my (now) closest friends. Without the internet, it is very likely that I would never have met these guys.
For the longest time, I dragged my heels about joining Write of Passage because I remember this quote from Stephen King:
"In writing classes, if nowhere else, it is entirely permissible to spend large chunks of your time off in your own little dreamworld. Still—do you really need permission and a hall-pass to go there? Do you need someone to make you a paper badge with the word WRITER on it before you can believe you are one?"
But that’s not even the point of this writing class. Yes, we learned techniques, but more importantly, we found society.6
I write because I get to send a signal out to the world that says, “Hey! I like these things!” And there are others out there who hear the message, and respond, “ME TOO!”
7. I write because I like to play with language
We primarily use language to communicate facts. But we can also use language to communicate our emotions and to express ourselves. We can compose words just as we compose music. Just take a look at poetry.
Within a sentence, I love to strike a rhythm and a beat, to palpate the pulse which we call prosody. I also love to accent my lines with alliteration. I love to learn new words, and their true meanings. And lastly, I love to paint splendid pictures with elaborate imagery, metaphor, and allusion.
Writing lets me practice all of these arts, and more.
“Certain novels… serve the vital and vanishing function of reminding us of fiction’s limitless possibilities… for making heads throb heartlike.” —David Foster Wallace
8. I write in order to edify others
In my first essay here,7 I talked about how my life was changed dramatically by "golden words" that I read. They are perhaps the greatest gift I’ve ever received.
Now, I want to do the same, and pay it forward. I want to build others up. I want to write words that will change lives in the same way that mine has been forever changed.
Every single essay of mine follows a different theme, but they all have this in common: they are about human nature. I design them so that they are not just entertaining, but enlightening. They each have something valuable to say about our humanity, which if we could really understand and apply, would improve our lives and those of the others around us.
9. I write because it's genuinely fun
Though I began completely demotivated, as I'm nearing the end of this essay, I find the words flowing effortlessly onto the page. It's a little bit like riding a rollercoaster: at first paralyzed by terror, but then the fun quickly begins, and by the end, my heart is racing, and I'm elated, excited, and exhausted, all at once. Like a little kid, I shout "Again!"
Starting to write is the worst part of my week. But once that’s over, continuing to write is the best part of my week.8
I think this is a metaphor for many things in life: Relationships, Exercise, Sacrifice, Honesty (especially with yourself).9 All these things are very hard at the start, but once you get going, the inertia carries you forward, and it becomes the best thing in your life.
"The difference between how I feel before my first set in the gym and how I feel after my first set is enormous. You don't even need a full workout (or work session, etc.) to feel good again. You are 5 minutes away from putting your day on a completely different trajectory." —James Clear
10. Lastly, I write in order to GET RICH
YEAH BABY, that's what it's all about! The monayyyy!
Currently I'm pulling in $0 every month. If I keep going at this pace, in 10 years I'll have accumulated $0. Go ahead, you can check my math on that.
Jealous? I would be.
No, in all honestly, it would be really great to make money from my writing. And maybe one day, I could do it full time. That sounds like paradise to me, because then I’d get to do all the above, but just way more often.
Until then, the best thing you could do would be to share this essay with someone. Go ahead— click the button.
If writing were solely about getting rich, this would be about the dumbest venture I could choose. Writing is like any other type of art—99% don't make it.
But it's not about that:
"Do you do it for the money, honey? The answer is no. Don’t now and never did... I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for joy, you can do it forever." —Stephen King
Conclusion:
I’m going to keep writing. And when I don’t want to anymore, I’ll take a look at these reasons.
What are your reasons for reading?
Footnotes:
My struggle to publish:
Rock vs. Paper
At the climax of his career, he walked away from it all. He was one of the most successful film directors of all time. Even among the celebrities of Hollywood, he was a celebrity. He had entered the world of cinema with a bang, and he never stopped popping off, just making more bangers, year after year. His style was distinctive, instantly recognizable,…
“I am Interminable”:
I am Interminable
We stumble back into the apartment at 1:30am—both of us sober—but simply sapped of all our energy. Most of the night was blur, but what he does next is a freeze frame, etched into my memory. At this time of the night (or morning?), we are husks. The soles of our feet have now petrified into planks of wood from standing on them for so many hours, our thr…
Footnotes like this one
A beautiful limitation:
Drowning in Decisions
I think I recently made first contact with an alien species. The other week I bought a rug pad from Craigslist to put underneath my existing rug, in order to provide some extra cushion and traction. It was a sweet deal. The problem, though, was that the rug pad had some kind of mold or bacteria growing in it, and I didn’t notice it at first. But it soon…
Well, generally I love meeting people everywhere I go:
The Comfort of Clamor
It is civil twilight, that ethereal hour just after the sun has dipped below the horizon, but has yet to relinquish its grasp upon the earth. Above, the sunset is a backdrop of quiet serenity, exquisite beauty, and stately nobility, which contrasts sharply with the chaotic energy now bubbling below, a witches' cauldron of noise and activity, here on Bou…
I also want to thank Lorenzo for prodding me to find friends online.
Talking to the dead
Have you ever conversed with a dead person? I have. Well, he never heard a word from me, but I swear that I heard his words as if they were spoken in my very ear. But there was something very special about the conditions of that moment that allowed me to hear. No, I didn’t perform a voodoo ritual or use a Ouija board. I was merely at a point in my life whe…
"Are you enjoying what you’re doing?":
Just get it over with
I'm walking between the tops of two skyscrapers, hundreds of floors above the ground level, on a bridge composed of nothing but a cable that is as wide as my wrist. The wind hits me in small gusts, making me wobble back and forth as I try to retain my balance. The gap is about the length of a football field, and it will take me about an hour to cross it…
Being honest with yourself:
Solace through solitude
For a long time, my ultimate fantasy was to be shipwrecked on an uninhabited island. Remember Cast Away? Tom Hanks survives an airplane crash in the south pacific, and everyone thinks he is dead, so he has to live on his own for like five years, until he builds a raft and sails back to civilization. That's awesome.
I’m so glad you’re writing as your essays are always so interesting. I appreciate your remarks about writing helps you improve your thinking and organize your thoughts. I use a type of narrative therapy for helping my clients with depression and anxiety which includes writing down their thoughts about a particular vexing situation. Once they’ve done that step they write down their emotions based on their thoughts. The next step is to go back to their thoughts list and identify the cognitive distortions and replace with what they know to be true. Finally write down the new emotions. The majority of the time this narrative therapy has dramatically improved my clients’ sense of wellbeing.
It's WILD how badly I needed to read this right now. THANK YOU.